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Economists are notorious for thinking in depth about the macro-situation but not being very sympathetic to individual persons. This is illustrated by something that happened in Washington D.C. lately. A homeless man approached a minister. “I haven’t eaten in three days.” The minister said, “The Lord will provide,” and passed by without giving him any money. The homeless person then approached a politician and said, “I haven’t eaten in three days.” The politician said, “It will be better after the election,” and he passed by without giving him any money. The homeless person then approached an economist, in fact, it was Alan Greenspan, the Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank. The homeless person said: “I haven’t eaten in three days.” Greenspan replied: “That’s very interesting. How does this compare with the same period last year?”
A man sneaks into his bedroom at 7 am. carrying his shoes in one hand and moving softly, hoping his wife will not wake up. But she does, and she snarls: “Where have you been? — You’ve been out all night!” He says, “No, I haven’t been out all night. I came in last night about 10:00 and saw that you were already asleep, so I went out in the back yard and slept in the hammock so I wouldn’t disturb you.” She says, “Is that right?” He says, “Yes, that’s right.” She says, “It may interest you to know that last week, when I was cleaning up the back yard, I took down the hammock, put it in its box, locked the box in the basement closet, and put the key in my purse. What do you have to say to THAT?” [EMPHASIZE THE WORD THAT]. He looked her straight in the eye and said, “That’s my story, and I’m sticking with it.”
An old man visits his doctor for an annual check-up — a doctor whom he had not seen before. After the examination, the doctor says: “You’re in great shape for man of 65.” The old man says, “Who says I’m 65? I’m 80.” The doctor says, “That’s remarkable. How old was your father when he died?” The old man says, “Who says my father is dead? He’s still alive, and he’s 104 years old.” The doctor said: “That’s amazing. Does this longevity run in the family? How old was your grandfather when he died?” Old man: “Who says my grandfather has died? He’s still alive at 124. Not only that, he’s going to get married next week.” Doctor: “Why in the world would anyone want to get married at the age of 124?” Old man: “Who says he WANTS to get married?”
A farmer has two teenage sons who are starting to use a lot of profanity, so his wife wants them disciplined. The farmer says, “OK — tomorrow morning I’ll start disciplining them.” The next morning the farmer and his wife are sitting at the breakfast table when the two sons come in with a clatter. The oldest one says, “Where are the goddam cornflakes?” The farmer, who is a huge man, stands up, grabs his son by the throat, gives him a right cross [GESTURE WITH RIGHT CROSS], throws him up against the wall, and goes over and stomps on him. He picks him up, throws him back onto a chair, and then asks his other son: “Now what do you want?” The other son says, “I don’t know, but you can bet your ass it isn’t cornflakes.”
A new resident of Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next morning and it is still raining. It continues to pour for the rest of the week. She leans out the window and sees a little boy playing on the porch below, so she asks: “Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?” “How should I know? I’m only six years old.”
A third grade student is asked to name the ten commandments, when he got to number six, he said “Thou shalt not admit adultery.”